| i think i should make a project out of mapping all bus lines i know of on the same map (different transportation systems usually only have their own bus lines on maps) and mark all the smaller stops along the way, so i won't always stare out the window for the bus stop sign every time i try to go to a new place on that bus line. |
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| whoa that's funny. i still managed to post every day the last couple of days even though i've been on xanga so much less (aka not compulsively checking every hour or less). not checking so often makes me feel as if it's been a long time since i posted, but apparently that is not the case.
anyway it's time for another me-reflection post. yayy i know how everyone (aka the 1-2 people reading this) loves these. XP this one occurred as I ate my 5-10 minute lunch outside of the library where i'm looking up hecka biomaterials (yay literature searches. over 500 articles to look at... darn why isn't the clipboard bigger?? lol)
i should watch what i say to and about people more. quite a few times in the last year, i've felt kind of hurt, sad, and left out when i find out from others that my friends are going through tough times but they never open up to me about it, even if i allude to the topic (or more usually, just ask if anything's going on in their life). or when people get closer though i've known people longer. or when i try to help, sometimes instinctively, but then they shut down. and it's partly cuz you know, people change and stuff (and this also ties into how people can only stand me in doses) but i still get hurt over it.
reflection time! what it boils down to is two things. trust, and comforting style. the first is the major cause of this entry haha - i usually think of myself as a pretty trustworthy person, someone who knows stuff because i hear it from others, but i usually go to the source to discuss/see if they feel like discussing it rather than in the roundabout way. but how people perceive one is not just about keeping secrets - you could be the best secretkeeper (which i don't even know if i'm even close to), but if you regularly complain or rant about people or even seem interested in news about other people, your credibility as someone to rely on for problems diminishes quite rapidly. also, one has to know when and where to talk about things. in addition, i've noticed that how you talk about people really affects how others see you as a person - it's like a sample of the type of person you really are. and mine certainly is less than stellar.
the other thing is of course, comforting style (i was going to say comfort style but i thought that might be too confusing). how you comfort others. some people make sympathetic noises and empathetic faces. others go the logical route and give advice. if both are religiously minded, one could provide words of comfort relating to religion, quoting from the book of authority or giving words of encouragment. others serve as sounding boards or support, not necessarily validating anything but offering their presence and care. some people require a specific style and if you don't match, well then you don't match - can't do anything about it because you can't force these things. even speaking for myself, it's rare for me to find someone who matches the comforting style i need at the right time, so i totally understand how one would shy away from one who doesn't match their criteria. meh haha.
the really really sad thing is that i have a tendency to forget about stuff after i write it down and get it out. which means that despite all these reflective posts, which should in theory make me a better person over time since i'm realizing these mistakes... doesn't. ._.||| argh. i will try to make more of an effort to put things into practice.
on a totally unrelated note.. wow there is like a huge hairball wrapped around my necklace chain. nasty. get off! *yank* good for frustration venting :D
and uhh... hearing periodically loud snorts and chuckles from this guy across the room in the library who i think is watching youtube vids is very... distracting.. to say the least. haha. and by periodically i mean about every half minute to a minute.
^ gah, perfect example of how i need to watch how i talk/complain about people
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| these girls definitely do. stolen from chris |
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| hmmm i think i have a thing for engineers. or people who think/talk like one. |
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| Crazy strong Romanian kid
another one of those fun t-shirt sites, this one by natalie dee apparently
this weight loss method seems interesting.. i'm actually slightly curious about it because it's supposed to be based off of scientific research on body mechanisms.. although i've also heard it's probably a bit too easy for the scientifically-minded (and no i'm not planning on dieting.. ever. lol. plus this claims not to be a diet anyway)
and finally, if ya'll haven't seen it yet, this is pretty darn cool (pertinent to xanga users only i guess haha)
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edit: ooh, this is pretty darn cool if it were accurate. i kinda wanna read through the books to check. |
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